Winnowing Woman

Do you ever have one of those days where you're just not "feeling it"? If you're breathing in and out, I'm guessing yes. Yesterday was one of those days for me. I woke up and enjoyed breakfast with the other members of our Fab Five, but once that was over with, Brilliant Beauty was off to school, and Ma Luffin' Mayun headed to work, all I wanted to do was vegetate. I mean, do.slap.nothing.

I understand it. Life, just by being what it is, is busy. It's tiring. It's been, oh, so cold and dreary outside. Everybody needs down-time. Yesterday, however, I just didn't want to be tired. I wanted to have the energy to conquer a million-and-one-item to-do list. I wanted to be a go-getter within the walls of Quaint Cottage and accomplish monumental tasks. I wanted to have the gumption to tackle projects and see them through to completion. I wanted to finish some things I've started. And I wanted to blog about it with samplings of the most descriptive of photographs, in the most perfect of prose.

But, risking outing myself as a moderate Aerosmith fan, all I can say about yesterday is, "my get-up-and-go must've got up and went". Even now I wish I could've mustered more stamina yesterday, or even today. I can tell I need another cupajo to help with the afternoon lull.

It's not a big deal. Nothing truly important went neglected yesterday. And in a lot of ways some very important things got the focus of my efforts. There was a walk after school with my sweet little us-es, a trip to the hardware store to help hang something beautiful and helpful in being more organized, time taken to fill up five bird feeders around our little acre, lots of jump-roper watching, introduction of another new flavor to a four-month-old palate, supervision of a backyard-tromping toddler, dishes washed, and a creative supper prepared.

Wow. Not until I wrote that paragraph did I realize what a lot of things were actually accomplished yesterday. Hmmm ... All about perspective, huh?

Why did it bother me so bad to be tired? Why did I resist my resistance to getting things done yesterday? Lots of reasons, of that I'm sure. Some good ones, but some bad ones, too. Some about a challenge and commitment to stewardship, but some about saving face within my family and the blogosphere.

I like to be a go-getter. I like to get things done. I like to be efficient. I like being strong. I like to be self-sufficient.

There it is. Did you see it?

I rest it all on my own efforts, my own strength, my own internal drive.

Uh, that reminds me of something. What was that? Hmmmm... Oh, yeah. That's it. Grease-stained rags. Yep.

"Our best efforts are grease-stained rags." Translation: my self-sufficiency leaves me covered with a filth Ajax can't take off.

What about days that I don't have anything to contribute? What about days when I may only scratch the service of the bare minimum? What about the days when my do-er is in hibernate mode?

Be. That's what.

Easier said than done.

Ma Luffin' Mayun challenged me yesterday morning to "choose the better thing". He may not even remember that he said that, but it stuck with me. I knew that meant to keep the priorities in check, to keep the main thing the main thing.

Somedays the "better thing" will be to, well, be.

So, some days the best way to winnow is to leave it all on the threshing floor. Let Him winnow. Glean from Him.

In the bleak mid-winter
frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron,
water like a stone;
snow had fallen, snow on snow,
snow on snow,
in the bleak mid-winter
long ago. . .
What can I give Him,
poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb,
If I were a wise man
I would do my part,
yet what I can I give Him,
give my heart.