Its hard to not despise small beginnings, especially in 2010 where I can blog from a telephone, have a bottle ready for Pretty Baby in less than two minutes, skype with people in any timezone at any given moment, pay a bill or transfer funds with a mouse click, or purchase nearly anything I want on credit.
Its hard to take it slower. Slowing it down or starting small isn't always the best way, but by and large it is and it goes against the grain of our society. Oh, that we could convince the world that they have permission - no, necessity - to STOP! And.smell.the.roses. If they - we - could find satisfaction in mundane and monotonous tasks, letting the repitition and redundancy weave a thread of patience not otherwise earned; begin with only a little and trust that when we need more, can manage more, there will be more; realize the success in failure, really blowing it, because those are the times that tell us who we are and Where we can lean; swell with the deepest of pride just for finishing what we start, even it the "what" doesn't amount to much in someone else's estimation.
I can't despise small beginnings, and I can't resent the process. Its all process. Its "take a step forward", "hurry up and wait", "be still and know". . .
I'm ending the week not having accomplished what I started the week wanting to. But that's okay. Here are components of my small beginning that I am, oh, so proud of:
- I started (that in and of itself is no small miracle)
- I worked in the laundry room
- I thrice resisted the temptation to just "spend money"
- I unsubscribed to numerous email newsletters that I never read
- I took these two pretty wooden purses that I was putting to no use at all over to KakiBlack for her to add to her newly-started collection
- I winnowed my facebook "friends"
- I blogged regularly
- I winnowed my winnowing to hold Pretty Baby, play with Little Big Man, read to Brilliant Beauty, care for Docile Doggy, and love and laugh with Ma Luffin' Mayun
- I looked for My Three-Personed-God and found Him all over, confirming and affirming each step of the way
Its been good. Its been slow. I haven't liked that much. But I won't fight against it. As I like to say, "it is what it is". Its a small beginning, but that's enough.
And Enough is as good as a feast.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry