A Little Sage Wisdom

Back in the fall Brilliant Beauty and I harvested some of our herbs to hang for drying. It takes about six weeks for them to thoroughly dry and be ready for storage. So today, six MONTHS later, we took them down and put them in their glass jars so they can be used. Of course the very same herbs are now once again in bloom in our two outdoor herb gardens and we'll definitely use them fresh as they are available. But I have to say, we have loved them hanging in the kitchen all winter long, reminding us of a greener season, teaching something of delayed gratification.

By today these herbs, so unmistakable by their aroma and appearance when they were fresh, all pretty much looked like so many dead twigs and leaves. For a minute I thought I wouldn't be able to identify them, rendering them relatively impotent for use. Who wants to think they're making rosemary mashed potatoes only to bite into them and find out they're laced with lavendar (question: do you actually bite into mashed potatoes?)? Blech.

But I underestimated myself, and those amazing herbs.

In only a moment of rubbing my fingers on an herb, breaking open these pieces of long-dead plants, I knew in an instant what each one was. Sage is sage. Rosemary is rosemary. Lavendar is lavendar. Thyme is thyme and basil is basil and lemon balm is lemon balm. Shriveled. Dried out. Dead. Still, unmistakable.

Only just now, just as I write, do I see me in those herbs; pieces of me shriveled, dried out, dead. And what's more, at the hand and choosing of the Gardener.

There just are some seasons when parts of me are not in bloom, places in deep dormancy. Parts of me are in a kind of limbo, hanging, wilting, lifeless, not even looking familiar, gathering dust and cobwebs.

But as I think about breaking open those herbs today - their unequivocal scents, my propriety in putting their parts to death because of my intentions all along to then put them to so much use - I can't not see use in my dead places. And I take no little comfort in the thought that my brokenness sends up a fragrance to Him that smells like nothing other...Jessica is Jessica.

It's useful. It's fragrant. It's wholly appropriate.

All that from some herbs...

Bouncin' and Behavin'

Since I know all of you are waiting with bated breath for instructions on all-natural, shampoo-free hair care -- or perhaps none of you -- I have this enlightening post for you today.

This information is made possible by a contribution from my dear friend Burnsy. She and I worked together about a decade ago, not realizing then that we were at the precipice of a lifelong friendship. We are usually separated by quite a lot of miles, seeing each other only a handful of times over these years. But the physical distance in no way parallels my affinity and outright love for her.

She's increbibly talented and a consummate professional in her field. Her career requires some atypical things of her hair, so when I found out she had sought out and found a natural, user-friendly, and economical hair care regimen that still left her hair looking good, I was all on it like white on rice.

Here's what she has to say:

Ok, I promised this info to Jessi weeks ago, but better late than never!! This is my current routine, devised from the "Curly Girl" hair care advice and adjusted for my now straight hair (thanks to pregnancy...). **NOTE: This note is not for the faint of heart. Read only if you have a serious bent towards the natural and hippie-esque.**

The thing to know before changing your routine is the cycle of "wash, condition, repeat" that shampoo companies have gotten us into. Simply put:

1. The main ingredient in standard shampoos is Sodium Laureth Sulfate. This is a harsh cleansing agent that essentially strips your hair and scalp not only of dirt and excess oil, but of ALL oils. This disrupts the natural balance of your scalp. (Note: SLS is also the main ingredient of dish soap. Squeaky clean is good for dishes, bad for hair and skin!)
2. In order to restore moisture to squeaky clean hair, you need to condition. Standard conditioners usually include ingredients like Dimethicone, which coats the hair with "moisture" but can only be removed with - you guessed it - Sodium Laureth Sulfate. If you condition with a "-cone" conditioner and don't use a Sulfate shampoo, you get build-up and your hair looks limp and lifeless.
3. A good Sulfate wash strips away the bad -cones, and the cycle starts all over again. No matter how expensive a product is, if it contains sulfates or -cones, you'll get stuck in this cycle.

So, how to break the cycle?? And what in the world can you use to wash your hair??

Let's start with the 2nd question. Basically, here's the rule: Make sure everything you put on your hair is water-soluble.

For WASHING:

Level 1: The most important thing needed for a clean scalp is a good scrub. Use your fingertips under running water to give your scalp a good massage, making sure to cover your whole head and really get under your hair. Rinse with warm water. Most days, that will be enough!

Level 2: If you've been camping, working outside, exercising, etc., you may need a bit more help. Use a pea- to dime-sized dollop of CONDITIONER (see below for which kind) and use that while scrubbing as you would for a "water wash." Rinse well.

Level 3: Every couple of weeks you may need to clarify your hair to give it a boost. For this we turn to our old friends, baking soda and apple cider vinegar!
- Add 1 tsp (ish) of baking soda to your dollop of conditioner and scrub as you would for a Level 2 wash. Rinse completely.
- Rinse your hair again using a mixture of 1 Tbsp ACV per Cup of cool water. This will close the hair folicle and restore the pH. Follow with conditioner.

For CONDITIONING:

Get used to reading labels. A good place to start is the Suave Naturals line of conditioners. A big bottle is usually less than $2, and it's totally water-soluble. I prefer the Aloe & Waterlilly or Tropical Coconut. Organic conditioners are also water-soluble, but more expensive, i.e., Burt's Bees, Alba.

To condition: Take a good palm-full of conditioner and work through your hair, including your scalp. Rinse with COLD water if you can stand it. (I do this but turning my head upside down in the shower; water gets my hair but not my body... mostly.)

That's it!! Cheap, mostly natural hair care.

So, how to get started? The first couple weeks might be serious ponytail or hat time as your natural oils come back, but it will be worth it in the long run to tough it out.

1. First step: one final SLS shampoo to get rid of all the build-up.
2. Then give you hair a good dousing with a non-"cone" conditioner (see above).
3. Rinse with cold water.
4. Carry on your merry way!

You'll have to experiment to find the best balance that works for you! For me, I water wash and condition every other day, codish-wash once a week, and Clarify once a month. That may change when the baby's born, but for now, I've got good shiny hair - for CHEAP!!

As for products, I still use some to control frizz, but that is complete trial and error. Again, just make sure things are water-soluble so they rinse out when you do a water wash. I'm still spending $14/bottle on a good gel, but it now lasts me over a year. When it runs out, I'll explore the cheap drugstore products in this awesome list.

And there you have it. Pretty awesome, huh? You can see her curly hair at the top of the post and her straight hair here.

I have been using this regimen for my own hair for nearly two weeks and I LOVE it. Also, I can tend to struggle with dandruff, but I have had none since starting this. I mean, NONE. Here's my most recent pic since making the switch. It's certainly not one of my better days, but the hair is clean and shiny and not plastered to my head with oil as I was afraid it might be. I say give it a try. You most assuredly don't have anything to lose and may find out you have fabulous, luxurious hair naturally without having to strip out and then add back to it a sundry skunah. (What? Everybody doesn't say "skunah"?)

In parting, I leave you with some amazing photos of Burnsy doing what she does, opera. Yeah. She's kind of a big deal now. But then again, I've always known that.

P.S. ACB, easier to get forgiveness than permission for ganking your pictures? Please forgive me. I'm proud of you.


in the part of Yum-Yum, production of The Mikado, Arizona Opera 2008


far left, in the part of one of the The Nymphs, production of Ariadne auf Naxos, Metropolitan Opera 2010


production of Candide, Wolf Trap Opera Company 2008 (and yes, that is this fella)


production of Le Nozze di Figaro, Opera Grand Rapids 2008 (and that fine-looking gentleman with her, in the immortal words of Beyonce, "put a ring on it" and they were married one year later)


...and the lovely pair preparing for the role of their lifetimes...parenthood.

[insert clever and charming blog post title here]

Yo, what up?

Long time, no write. Sorry about that. If it’s any consolation I do blog in my head constantly. If only there was a transcription program that could just download entries from my brain and upload them straight to my blog in the midst of the busyness. Wait, scratch that. You probably don’t want to know everything I’m thinking, and I surely don’t want it floating around in cyberspace. Yikes.

So, I’m working on contentment… I’m working on laundry… I’m working on consistently following my daily schedule…

About that last one, the schedule - here’s what I now know to be fact (from days of following it and a few days thrown in where I didn’t): I have to beat the kids up. Oy, that didn’t come out right. Let me clarify: I have to be awake, showered, and dressed for the day before any of the three kids are up. This is probably already a no-brainer for two-thirds of civilization, but I am just coming around to the facts and truth about early birds. I’m getting lots of worms these days. Yep, I’ve got worms. Hold on, that’s no good, either. I don’t actually have worms. I just meant…ech. You catch my drift.

I told you everything from my head did not need to be lain bare for the world to see.

This one thing - getting up early and making the preparation of myself for the day a priority - has made all the difference in our every day lives. And I'm sure it's because it first makes a world of difference in me. Whether a mom likes it or not, so much of home life rises and falls on us. It's amazing how a thirty-minute window of time first thing in the morning devoted to a little self-care can make such a huge impact on Winnowing Woman-and-Ma Luffin' Mayun's Wife-and-The-Us-es' Mommy. You know what I mean? I betcha do. I betchoo know what I'm sayin'...

The daily schedule post-showering/dressing, like so much else in my life, requires flexibility. If I can keep that in mind and not feel ruled by it, the schedule serves as an excellent framework for me everyday. Again, it serves me, I don’t serve it. The schedule brings a suggested daily focus for household work. And focus is a darn good thing. I can tell you that something is consistently getting done every day as opposed to nothing. Who doesn’t love that?!

So I raise a glass (of southern sweet tea, of course…actually SoBe water I bought with a coupon) to getting out of bed, hopping in a shower, getting dressed including earrings and shoes, and feeling that much more ready to sift, shift, steward, and save my way through the day.

…and here’s one more sip in gratitude that the brain indeed does not have an auto-download function. Hallelujah, cowabunga.

Recalibrating The Eggdicator: The Demise of Veruca Salt

I'm distracted.

Yes. Again.

How about a little stream-of-consciousness-bullet-point-prose as a sampling of said distracted-ful-ness-er-ilation?
-I want chickens. Live ones. With their own coop and run in the back yard. Laying eggs aplenty for our FabFive. ("atleast a hundred a day...and by the way...")
-I want mulch.
-I want to build, prepare, and plant raised garden beds.
-I want to buy lots of flowers and shrubs and trees and put them in the ground.
-I want ten pounds of worms for vermiculture.
-I want the garage cleaned out.
-I want the garage closed in.
-I want hardwood laminate throughout the house.
-I want a minivan.
-I want the idiot on the Kawasaki motorcycle to stop speeding up and down my road everyday.
-I want everyone to stop piling stuff on the piano when they walk in the door.
-I want Brilliant Beauty to take more responsibility with helping around Quaint Cottage.
-I want Little Big Man to put his bodily refuse in the toilet.
-I want to be about four clothing sizes smaller.
-I want to blog with amazing consistency, full of amazing content that's amazingly insightful.
-I want to wait and see and be patient and faithful and rightly focused and trust God for the "if" or timing of all of this stuff.
-I want to make it all happen myself, put it all on credit, and let it eat.

"I want it NOW!!!"

Sheesh, and Good Grief.

Some of this stuff is just wants. Some of it may qualify as a need (until you look around in comparison at the millions of others that do with less than we've already got). I don't feel condemned or guilty for wanting any of it, but I do feel frustrated; about not having it, about spending too much time thinking about it, about maybe never getting it.

Here's a definition: Contentment - the state of desiring no more than one already has; satisfied.

Sigh.

Big sigh.

Hmm. Really, I want to be content.

You can't buy that on credit.

Shakespeare said, "Poor and content is rich and rich enough". And Jesus said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Poor.
Content.
Poor plus content.
Poor (in spirit) equals heiress to a kingdom.

So I don't have everything on my list, but does that qualify me as "poor in spirit"? Here's how one theologian describes "poor in spirit": "In our more honest moments, we recognize our profound neediness, our intellectual limitations, our spiritual inadequacy, our moral failures. In our helplessness, we turn to God. Our response of gratitude and trust, itself a grace, means that the kingdom of heaven is ours". Another adds, "Blessed are those who are convinced of their basic dependency on God, whose lives are emptied of all that doesn't matter, those for whom the riches of this world just aren't that important. The kingdom of God is theirs."

How's that for a winnowing project?

Paul, having the change in his pocket to speak of such things since he lived a life that ranged from highest rank and robe to that of a prisoner serving a protracted sentence, wrote, "I am not complaining about having too little. I have learned to be satisfied with whatever I have. I know what it is to be poor or to have plenty, and I have lived under all kinds of conditions. I know what it means to be full or to be hungry, to have too much or too little. Christ gives me the strength to face anything."

Nope. Can't buy that on credit. And sometimes, it's hard-won.

But, oh, satisfaction.

A Lucky Poor (E. Peterson)
A beech tree in winter, white
intricacies unconcealed
against sky blue and billowed
clouds, carries in his emptiness
ripeness: sap ready to rise
on signal, buds alert to burst
to leaf. And then after a season
of summer a lean ring to remember
the lush fulfilled promises.
Empty again in wise poverty
that let's the reaching branches stretch
a millimetre more towards heaven,
the bole expand ever so slightly
and push roots into the firm
foundation, lucky to be leafless:
deciduous reminder to let it go.

"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labour on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare."

Look at what I already have. Enough is as good as a feast.